Tonight - Faith and I laughing in my room. Supposedly she's my little twin since I looked a lot like her when I was younger.

Abigail and Allison (twin daughters of our friends in Singapore) on their first birthday. Right after this their mom decided to give them each their own chocolate cake and icing and watch them dig in. It was quite entertaining.

One very odd street performer trying to raise money or at least send some kind of message. No wonder Orchard Road is famous...

Me looking positively thrilled as I stand on the infamous Orchard Road in Singapore. I went on a short vacation there with my dad last summer right before my m-trip. I just found all these pictures so I thought I'd share them with you all.

A cool picture of some clouds that I took while flying over Singapore last summer.

change

As I rode home last night from Columbia, SC it was almost 9pm and already getting dark. I remember my first couple of days back here in the States and having it stay light until almost 10pm. I have to admit that was one thing that I was really really looking forward to in moving back to the States. In Bandung it gets dark no later than 6:15 every single night of the year. The sun was a humongous fireball last night with no clouds in sight. Just the radiating red filling the surrounding sky with what was left of the days light.

This weekend I was at a reunion in Boone, NC with a few of my closest friends who used to live in Indonesia (and some that still do). While there, we spent time talking about all the changes we've been going through, our impressions of the States, and the transitions of coming back. We talked about how we hate the question "where are you from?" because without going into an elaborate answer it's difficult to say. Usually it's asked by someone just making conversation on an airplane or at the grocery store and they don't really want an answer so you know that giving them a long answer will either surprise them or annoy them. Simple things like that make it difficult to adjust back to the States.

One thing I was able to learn is that as mk's, we usually come back with this mindset of what the stereotypical American is and we don't like it. What I never thought about is that Americans have a stereotype of what a missionary is or what a Christian is. Either way of stereotyping isn't really fair to the other person. What needs to happen is I need to have an open mind when meeting people and not expect them to act a certain way, because everyone is different. Also, in having an open mind, I need to be interested in other people. It could be true that as an mk/tck I may have more experience and maturity and knowledge in many areas more than other people. However, that doesn't mean I should close myself off from learning from others and trying to understand them. If I want people to be interested in my life and really care about what I have to say, then I need to genuinely be interested in what they have to say.

The sun was a reminder to me of the weekend because just as the setting sun was bringing an end to the summer, the weekend was drawing a close to my time with my friends. I said good bye to friends that are not only friends, but who are basically my siblings. We have been through so much together and had so many shared expereiences that it was hard to let them go. I know that I'll be going back to Bandung at Christmas and I'll be able to cook with Greg and see Laura, but I'm not sure when I'll see the rest of them. Maybe next summer, maybe the year after that. It's a difficult thing to let go of and I wish I didn't have to.

One thing I do know is that next summer the sun will once again set around 10pm; I have that to look forward to and to put joy in my heart. I know that God will provide great relationships for me this next year and that I will one day see my friends again. That also brings joy to my heart and gives me something to anticipate. I don't know what tomorrow will bring but I do know that today I'm trusting in God to guide me and to be the one constant in my life.

Chels and me in the car on the way up to Boone, NC after our 14 1/2 hour bus ride from Orlando. It was a long ride and quite tiring so we don't look our best. This was in the Hairgroves van with Katie, Aargh the pirate, aunt Linda, and my mom.

Katie, Chels, and me relaxing on the couch.

Arrgh, Katie, and Stephen after Stephen "accidentally" dropped this marshmallow jello-o stuff all over Katie's head and shirt and the couch. That was funny!

Me and Katie out on the back porch (which is very dark and creepy late at night) talking on the phone to Dan.

All the "mks" at the reunion besides Stephen and John (Katie's John/Arrgh/Big Red) who had to leave early.

Just the girls at the reunion (L-R: Toni, me, Katie, Chels, Laura). I was a little tired from barely getting any sleep the whole weekend.

Abby and me at Cracker Barrel on the way to visiting my school... Columbia International University (CIU) for those of you who didn't know I was going there.

Becca and I after our "amazing race" at youth group. We were so hot and tired that we just wanted to go swimming in this huge fountain, but we were too lazy to walk across the field to get to the fountain, so we sprayed each other with our water bottles instead. That felt good.

"the amazing race"

Tonight was my first time at youth group this summer and it was definitely different than sofefo but it was still fun. They've been on "the amazing race" theme so we were in teams and went through all these obstacles, like being blindfolded and listening to your leader direct you as you went over and under bridges and stuff like that. Afterwards the youth pastor gave his little sermon and of course it was about running the good race and Hebrews 12. It's one of those thngs where you've heard it a million times and you think there's nothing applicable to your life but then God surprises you and makes something stick out.

What Rob, the youth pastor, said was that there are 4 kinds of people who run a race. There is one who runs but becomes distracted easily and often becomes sidetracked. There is one who runs but doesn't know why he is running; he hasn't figured out his purpose. Then there is one who doesn't run, but walks, just kinda takes they're time and isn't too concerned with the race. Then there is the fourth kind of runner who gives it all he has; he knows why he is running and he sees the purpose. A runner in a race should have a goal in mind.

When someone asks a woman why she married her husband, she's not going to dumbly reply, "well...uh...because he's funny...i dunno." Instead she will most likely have some deeper reasoning (if not then she probably got married for the wrong reasons) Likewise, as a Christian, when someone asks why you became a Christian you should have some good reasons about why you made that life-changing decision other than "well...uh...because of some salvation thing."

Another good illustration he had was this: If someone offered you $100 to work for 8 hours to build a wall with absolutely no water or break in 96 degree heat with a heat index making it 114 degrees and a guarantee that you would pass out at least twice, the $100 probably isn't worth all that. However, if the offer was good for $10,000, suddenly passing out twice and not drinking for a day doesn't seem so bad. This is what Paul realized in running the race of the Christian faith. The reward of going to Heaven and the other rewards that will be distributed are far worth some pain and much hardship endured on earth. If the prize was a $100 it might not seem worth it to you, but having the satisfaction of knowing God is proud of you and wants to give your life purpose, makes up for all the hardship you endured.

If you don't yet have a purpose, or are confused as to what your purpose is, then maybe searching for purpose can be your new goal.

orlando

Today we began our day by going to MGM and watching Who Wants to be a Millionaire. It was pretty sad because there was this guy who was so pumped to be on the show and then he lost on the first question which was an obvious answer. Then we went on the Rock 'n' Roller Coaster which I'd have to say is my favorite ride because it's the first roller coaster I ever went on. A couple years back a couple of my closest friends dragged me on it, lying to me the whole time, saying that it was slow with no loops and all that when it's actually kinda fast and in the dark and has quite a few loops. In the end it turned out to be a really fun ride so I guess it was worth it. We had to go on Star Wars for Becca since she totally loves the movie. After that we headed off to Chick-Fil-A for lunch, which was so yummy! Then to Epcot for the turkey/emu leg and the ride Mission: Space. That was a cool ride that kinda made me sick. It was sorta like the spinning ride at Idlewild in that you have to keep your focus on one thing because if you look away you get really sick and because the G-Force or whatever is holding you down while you're spinning like crazy. We were gonna go on a couple other rides there but the wait time was 100 minutes, so we decided that no ride is worth waiting that long and headed to Magic Kingdom. While there we went into the Haunted Mansion, on Pirates of the Caribbean, and on Thunder Mountain (which I think is a fun ride). After all this we decided that it was about time to go (but not before Chels got her funnel cake) since it was almost 11pm and the parade was about to begin. So, we got the funnel cake (those things are good as I just recently found out) and squished our way through thousands of people staring at the chipmunks, swans, and various other characters dancing their way through the parade. By the time we got out of there, rode the monorail, and arrived in the parking lot we were exhausted and the sugar from our junk food was kicking in. Becca's kinda short so Chels, Abby, and I were jumping up to touch the ceiling and tree branches and talking about tree huggers (Val would be proud). Then we saw the pole and decided to become pole huggers instead (in spite of Val's tree hugging beliefs). That just about ended off the night. Earlier we had gotten yelled at by Disney cast members for ducking under the rope instead of walking around (even though no one was in line). So, we decided to end the night by breaking the rules one last time by walking through the grass instead of on the sidewalks. Overall it was a fun day but I'm exhausted since it's now 1:30 in the morning, so I'm going to bed now.

Chels and I looking absolutely lovely :) at Epcot. We were getting a little tired since we had just gone to MGM and were about to go to Magic Kingdom. It's awesome having a friend that works at Disney...we got to go for free! (thanks Becca)

Abby, Chels, Becca, and me at the entrance to Epcot.

This would be me looking quite confused and irritated at DDR. I have absolutely no rhythm and am terrible at it. Good thing we were on the beginner level dancing to "The Bear Necessities" otherwise I really would have gotten frustrated with myself. Oh well! It was fun I guess.

Chels taking a big bite out of Abby's huge turkey leg from Epcot. Becca (the insider who works at Disney) informed us that they are actually emu legs, not turkey legs...weird!

After a very long day enjoying Disney World. This is me, Chels, and Becca being "pole huggers" instead of "tree huggers." It was late, we were delusional, what can I say?

church

Today I went to the first church service I've been to since I've been back to the states. I went to my home church in Orlando and heard a really great sermon. It reminded me of being at SOFEFO (my youth group in Bandung) retreats and actually having something to take notes on; something that's applicable to my life and interesting. The atmosphere of the church was good with a mix of young to old, but there was a nice family atmosphere that gave unity to it all. Seeing the people at church was good for me because I had known many of the kids when they were little and now they're all grown up and leading pretty uplifting lives. It was encouragement for me to see them worshiping and it was a good reminder of what it takes to be a Christian in this country. Well, now I'm looking forward to finding a good church in Columbia and getting involved in a small group. I'll be visiting up there next week, so it'll be good to get a feel for the area.

this week

Last night as my friend Becca and I sat in the movie theater, we looked at each other wondering why we were about to see this movie. Neither one of us wanted to see it but she had taken her siblings to see it and I had come along. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory soon began and Becca and I laughed hysterically throughout most of the movie. My cheeks hurt by the end of the night because we were laughing so hard. So, in the end it turned out to be worth the very expensive movie ticket.

I've been in Orlando now for one week. So far I have gone shopping for a lot of stuff for college and now I'm working on repacking. I think I have packed, unpacked, and repacked about 6 different times this summer. It's getting kind of old and I'm getting anxious to move into my dorm room and just organize everything. Most of you know this is driving me insane not being able to have a place for every little thing. Oh well, until then I'll continue to try and enjoy the summer and not having much to do because I know once school starts I'll be plenty busy. I did hear from my new roommate today. Her name is Beth and she's from Charlotte, NC. She sounds nice so it'll be good to get to know her over the next couple of weeks before we are officially stuck together in the same room for a year.

Tonight we're having dinner at some friends house and tomorrow is church. Monday Chelsea is coming and I'm really excited about that. Her and Becca will finally get to meet and we're going to Disney for the day. That should be fun. Until then...

The Pain of Transition

What is this feeling that tears at my heart? Some might say it’s love. Some might say it’s heartache. I’d say it’s a little of both. For the past four years I’ve been gradually taken out of my comfort zone. I’ve been stretched and embarrassed and had a really good time. I’ve learned how to love with my whole heart and trust God immensely.

I suppose many people would turn their hearts cold against God in this time of pain and trial. Many would ask, “Why? Why does this have to happen to me? When I was just getting adjusted you go and rip me out of everything I’ve known to be life.” I’m not saying I’m not asking why, because I am. However I’m asking it not out of anger but of sheer curiosity. In Bandung I had some of the best friends anyone could ask for. I had a friend to cry with, a friend to laugh with, and a friend to scream with. There was someone to strangle in times of frustration and someone to say, “Lauren snap out of!” when I was acting completely out of character. I had friends to accept me for exactly who I was. When I didn’t feel like wearing make-up anymore or getting all dressed up for school anymore; I didn’t, and that was ok. Some friends even joined me in that.
It didn’t matter because I was Lauren and everyone knew that. They knew that I would be there if anyone needed anything – money, extra socks, Advil, Sharpies, double sided tape, contact solution, and many other random items. I was the “mom” of the entire high school, the one that anyone and everyone turned to in their time of need. This role was not only for material objects but also for guidance and a gentle listening ear. Everyone knew that I had a gift. No matter what, Lauren would know what to do. I was the nice person who got along with everyone and could talk with anyone.

One thing that I can’t deal with is fake surface stuff. I like it when people get to the point. I love to help people in any way that I can and I love to listen to people. It excites me to just sit and observe people especially when they don’t know and they carry on in their normal environment. In America though, it seems like no one needs help and there’s nothing for me to do. Since I’ve been here, I’ve been holding in my desires to help because I see no where for them to be carried out.

The point of all this is that in Bandung I was established; people knew who I was. My friends were there for me in times when I wasn’t feeling myself and I was there for them. Now I’m in America and no one cares. Going from a place where most people can relate to you and where you can talk about the same things every time you go to Starbucks together but no one cares because they’re all going through the same thing, then coming here where everyone’s like, “Oh cool you lived in Indonesia. Is that in India?” I smile politely and shake my head, “Nope, it’s a separate country.” Sometimes it drives me to the point of insanity at how uninformed and uninterested and I guess just plain shallow Americans are.

What I’ve learned is that I can’t make people realize who I am. For the most part it’s not important to them where I come from or what I’ve been through. Their lives have already been established and they’ve already created their own cliques and points of knowledge. I’m not saying these are bad people. Honestly, I feel somewhat sorry for them. I feel as though I have had a much enriched life learning about the cultures of Australia, Korea, Japan, Indonesia, England, etc. and they have all missed out on that experience.

It’s difficult to find people to relate. Other than my friends who have moved back from Indonesia, I know two other people who seem to actually care and one of them I just recently met. It’s important for me to be able to talk about my life and have the other person genuinely be interested. I want to be interested in their life, so I only think it’s fair. Without their knowledge, these two people have been there for me in some dark times. Though my outside expression doesn’t show it, this past month in the states has been very difficult for me. However God once again provided for me and just when I thought, “That’s it, I can’t take it anymore,” just when I got to the point of almost locking myself in my room and hiding out for the next year, one of these friends was there for me and that means a lot.

Over these next couple of months I’ll be praying for God to strengthen these friendships in particular so that in those times of missing home and needing human companionship I will have someone to turn to. I have already been turning to God and I thank him tremendously for giving me the opportunity to begin friendships with these people and for those friends that I have yet to meet.

As many of you are going through transition, I pray that He will continue to lead you and provide for you. Thank you for the impact you’ve had on my life and for your prayers.

Felly's family (minus her mom) and my family eating at Hard Rock after Felly and I spent the day at Universal. This reminded me of being in Bali on our senior trip and dumping the carmelized onions in Josh's glasss of ice tea and having him and Mr. Beeson make fun of me the rest of the night. The food was actually better in Bali (the nachos there are amazing!!)

My friend, Felly, and I at Islands of Adventure (Universal Studios). No, they're not new sunglasses...we were about to go on the 3-D Spiderman ride and these are the supercool glasses that we got to wear.

Me and Dan - This awesome guy that I met when I went to Creation.

This is me at Idlewild playing mini golf. I'm so good. Haha...not! It was fun though and somewhat embarassing.

This is my Grandma's restaurant, "Wise's," where I've been hanging out (and living above) for the past month or so.

the end of pennsylvania for now

Today I spent my last day in PA at Idlewild, an amusement park, with a couple of friends, Krista and Dan. It was a fun day getting dizzy on the rides and feeling like I was going to throw up (but of course that wouldn't happen to me because I haven't puked since I was 10 besides the one time during basketball season in February thanks to Mrs. Beeson!) I had my first funnel cake and got to play mini golf, two very exciting experiences that, along with getting to hang out with cool people, made my week.

Tomorrow morning, or I guess I should say this morning since it's 1 am, Abby and I are flying down to Orlando. I'm continuing to trust in God to provide for me as far as relationships, he's done an excellent job so far. It's scary going back to Orlando and seeing everyone who I haven't seen in two years. I can't wait until August when I can get to South Carolina and get settled into college and have some stability in my life. Until then I'm looking forward to meeting more people, keeping up my friendships, and anything else God feels like throwing at me.

Preston and Angie the handsome and beautiful groom and bride.

Katie, Stef, and me at the wedding.

Stef, me, and Katie during the rehearsal dinner for Preston and Angie's wedding.

Stef and I eating at the Waffle House while I was down in NC.

Me, Dan, and Krista on the way home from Creation. We had some fun sitting positions on that ride home. Krista really enjoyed making the truckers honk at her as she waved through the window. We were all exhausted, starving, and in desperate need of showers!

Me, Kate, Dan, and Krista - This was when we got bored during one very hot day at Creatrion and decided to give Dan a makeover which included wearing make-up, pink nail polish, and my shirt and flip flops. He looked so pretty.

Dan and Krista - He had to sink down to her level for me to take this picture.

Just a handful of the 80,000 people that were at Creation 2005.

The "hot" drummer of Mute Math. He played so hard and fast that he broke his drum sticks 3 times. That was a fun concert!

Faith, me, my friend Josh, Abby, my cousin Claire, and my aunt Sue - Sitting around a smores fire at my uncle Jimmy's house.

Summer so far...

After arrving in the US I immediately felt the shocks of culture. I was wishing I was back in America and wasn't too excited about being back to my "home country."
Since I've been back I've been staying at my uncle's house (which is above my aunt's restaurant) in Pennsylvania. It's a small town with not much to do. I did finally make a friend up here though, his name's Josh and he washes dishes at the restaurant. For the first week I was here I set up a new computer, got adjusted to my new cell phone, and walked around this small town eating ice-cream and going to Wal-Mart.
During my second week in America I went down to North Carolina to one of my best friends' brother's wedding. When I got to NC, I met Katie's friend Stef (an exchange student from Germany). In between getting set up for the wedding, Katie, Stef, and I had some fun times eating at the Waffle House while listening to karaoke, trying on interesting clothes at Kohl's (luckily not maternity this time!), and almost getting run over on the highway while trying to get to Wal-Mart with another friend, Sarah. The wedding was amazing. Preston and Angie are so cute together and the party afterwards was fun.
For my third week, Josh invited me to Creation Festival. It's this huge 5 day concert/speaker/worship event where everyone camps out (which I love doing since I'm such an outdoorsy and adventurous person...haha yeah right!) So yeah I slept in a tent, took cold showers with a sink hose, shaved in the grass, had a couple of fun water fights, made some really fun friends, and heard some awesome music like (Switchfoot, David Crowder, Jeremy Camp, Toby Mac, Mute Math, etc.) I hung out with some new friends - Kate, Krista, Justin, and Dan. I had a really great weekend and a fun ride home talking with Krista and Dan and having one final water fight with Dan.
Today's the 4th of July and I'm going over to my aunt's house for a cookout then to see War of the Worlds and Bewitched with a friend and my sister Abby. Sometime this week I'm going to Idlewild (an amusement park) with Krista and Dan. Then on Saturday Abby and I fly down to Orlando to meet up with the rest of my family who has been in Tennessee for the past week.
I guess America's not so bad. God has really been providing for me with friends and others surprises.